Music For My Wedding: I Want To Dance!

One of the most important things at a wedding is music. If your guests don't get to party, you don't get the right memories and everybody is looking for what to do next when the wedding is over.

I call the last 45 min. dance set of the evening "sweat dancing." You know where the guys take off or loosen their ties and the girls are barefoot or in flip flops? Everyone is dancing like crazy??? If you don't have this magic time happen, the party never really "gets off" so to speak. Your good DJ or band leader will know the crowd by then and should have everything pumping.


This needs to happen before any sound ordinance kicks in or before the hall needs to close with plenty of time to get guests out, etc. before any penalties are accessed. Your invite time is directly related to the time of your last dance set. The average wedding lasts 6 hours from guest invite to guest departure.


For example, if you are starting your last 45 min. dance set at 10 p.m. and ending it at 10: 45 p.m., you will invite guests for 4:30 p.m. for the ceremony. Don't forget any travel time that may exist between ceremony and reception space. That factors in as part of your party time.


If you want to have the music off and the guests out by 11:00 p.m., you probably want to close the bar at 10:30 p.m. Make sure and leave self serve water, coffee, etc. on or near the bar so people are not just literally cut off from all beverages. You may want to leave opened liquor bottles with mixers out and some of the cold beer on the bar. It softens the blow of closing the evening.


When choosing whether to have a DJ or a band, know one looks much more impressive than the other - of course a band looks more expensive. Yet can the band play covers you want to dance to? If not, you may be better off with a DJ. You can dress up a DJ by putting a backdrop behind him, putting him on a carpet or astro-turf covered riser and having him spotlit.


It is best to think about what your crowd's favorite music is, not just your favorite music, as an empty dance floor is a very lonely place when your favs are playing and no one is with you to get crazy. Let your DJ or band leader have a list of some "don't plays" and a list of "must plays" and get out of his way. His job is to make the party rock, your job is to have a blast and pass warm or cool towels to keep everyone fresh.

Let's Prepare A Guest List

One of the most difficult tasks, one of the first tasks in wedding planning is preparing your guest list. Much conflict can arise over not knowing how to accomplish this task. I have a simple formula that may make your life a bit easier when it comes to a wedding guest list.

Here is how I figure how many people each segment of the hosting committee can invite.

Break your hosting committee into four categories: bride's list, groom's list, bride's family list, and finally, groom's family list. Each category can invite 25% of the guests. That would mean for a wedding of 200 people, each category gets 50 names. Remember, each name constitutes a couple (Mr. & Mrs. Important Guest) so that really breaks down to 25 names.


Note, there will always be people declining the invite, so 200 invites should garner about 170 guests at the wedding. Later you can send out a "B" list and invite more guests...just make sure you print enough invites. It is suggested that you print about 30% more invites then you think you will need for your master list. (Invites to mail, invites to save, invites for backup, invites for guests you know can't come but must be invited)


This may seem like an impossible task....how do you break your entire world of friends down to only 25 names? The only way I think you can accomplish this is by taking a reality check when it comes to finances. Know that each individual guest breaks down to between $250 and $550, which means $500 to $1,100 per couple! You can easily realize you must keep your guest count down if your budget is important to stick to.


One of my rules of thumbs is: how many times have I been to Guest "A's" or Guest  "B's" house lately for dinner? How many times have they taken me out to eat? If a guest has not been in your home in the past year, it may be they don't need to be at an expensive event you are hosting. (It may be a bit like cleaning out your closet, if you have not worn it in a year, get rid of it.)


What do you tell the people you can't invite? It seems the only answer for their not being on the list is you are having a wedding for family only, or the hall won't hold guests as you would like it too, etc. Honesty is the best policy, you just have to be honest and let those who will not be invited that you will share photos with them and let them know everything that happened, etc. Good luck!