I'm glad somebody asked me this as I have been dying to talk about it, on my own terms from my experience real time. From watching mothers sneak around corners and whisper about each other how they hate the taste of the other mother. "The other mother does not have as much money as we do." "We don't do things like this where I'm from!" etc., etc....so caddy and I love it! Venting with someone safe, staff, feels so wonderful and freeing.
Now who pays for what, this life time? Most dads are coming home at 9 or 10 at night, leaving early to work, have tons of tax bills, other kids in college and any bride feels guilty asking for $130,000 cash, right now, for one event, one night! Who is nuts here? Welcome to my world...
Most of our weddings at Entertainment Design Events range in guest count of about 125 people and cost between $75K and $160K. All this depends much on the location and guest count, transportation needs, etc. This number is inclusive of all expenses, not just catering, but it does not include any clothes. The most expensive wedding we did was for 40 guests and cost 1.2 million, so there sometimes is no reason to the rules.
The best way to attack funding that I have seen in California, where wedding experiences include the 4 parties: Meet-N-Greet, Rehearsal Dinner, Wedding Ceremony/Reception, and Post Wedding Brunch, is to sit down with all those that are willing to participate financially and have a pow wow. It is important early in the game to see who is in and who is out. Those that are out may participate in other ways by giving of time and effort, just not funds.
When one family has much more money than the other, usually they will step in and shoulder 75% of the project, the other family will give 12.5 % and the kids (bride/groom) will give 12.5 %. That way everybody gets to participate and feel in the show. You can work these percentages any way you like I'm just giving an outline. The usual people that pay are everybody that can and stay comfortable.
I've also had various family members offer to pay for specific items, for example, a step-father to pay for the band/DJ/music. An aunt or Godmother pay for something like the cake. Mother-of-the-Groom to pay for all the flowers for the whole celebration. These can be really big numbers to cover and my God how generous of the donors to take on this responsibility.
Why you ask would anyone want to spend this kind of money on one night, just to show off or keep up with the Joneses? No. The reason people spend money on big parties is they want to celebrate and they understand the special joy it is to really find someone you want to spend your life with. They want to gather both clans so they are brought together, can get to know each other and form a support group for the new couple.
It is a night, a most special night, where old, young, sometimes babies, all can gather and see each other and friends look their best, get everyone in photos that last forever, and create memories that last even longer. We work and work and work, drudging in and out of our days. When we have something like a wedding to look forward to it is so exciting as well it should be. Other than a car or a house, what costs more? Little wonder there is so much stress, fighting, everyone wanting their part to fill the guest list.
One of Emily's most important lessons I learned was etiquette is something created so when we go places we don't know much about, we have a basic set of rules based on what makes others feel comfortable around us. Using common sense about what makes others comfortable you can most often not make big mistakes in society. Society, where would it be without parties and big weddings...
Where I came from a wedding cost hardly anything, you had to run to the reception hall to get any of the shrimp, there was no booze, only punch, ham sliced with rolls and some cheese cubes. It lasted, thank God, about and hour and a half and you could return to your real life. O, I almost forgot, salted pecans always made a showing...usually there were plenty of those.
Now who pays for what, this life time? Most dads are coming home at 9 or 10 at night, leaving early to work, have tons of tax bills, other kids in college and any bride feels guilty asking for $130,000 cash, right now, for one event, one night! Who is nuts here? Welcome to my world...
Most of our weddings at Entertainment Design Events range in guest count of about 125 people and cost between $75K and $160K. All this depends much on the location and guest count, transportation needs, etc. This number is inclusive of all expenses, not just catering, but it does not include any clothes. The most expensive wedding we did was for 40 guests and cost 1.2 million, so there sometimes is no reason to the rules.
The best way to attack funding that I have seen in California, where wedding experiences include the 4 parties: Meet-N-Greet, Rehearsal Dinner, Wedding Ceremony/Reception, and Post Wedding Brunch, is to sit down with all those that are willing to participate financially and have a pow wow. It is important early in the game to see who is in and who is out. Those that are out may participate in other ways by giving of time and effort, just not funds.
When one family has much more money than the other, usually they will step in and shoulder 75% of the project, the other family will give 12.5 % and the kids (bride/groom) will give 12.5 %. That way everybody gets to participate and feel in the show. You can work these percentages any way you like I'm just giving an outline. The usual people that pay are everybody that can and stay comfortable.
I've also had various family members offer to pay for specific items, for example, a step-father to pay for the band/DJ/music. An aunt or Godmother pay for something like the cake. Mother-of-the-Groom to pay for all the flowers for the whole celebration. These can be really big numbers to cover and my God how generous of the donors to take on this responsibility.
Why you ask would anyone want to spend this kind of money on one night, just to show off or keep up with the Joneses? No. The reason people spend money on big parties is they want to celebrate and they understand the special joy it is to really find someone you want to spend your life with. They want to gather both clans so they are brought together, can get to know each other and form a support group for the new couple.
It is a night, a most special night, where old, young, sometimes babies, all can gather and see each other and friends look their best, get everyone in photos that last forever, and create memories that last even longer. We work and work and work, drudging in and out of our days. When we have something like a wedding to look forward to it is so exciting as well it should be. Other than a car or a house, what costs more? Little wonder there is so much stress, fighting, everyone wanting their part to fill the guest list.
One of Emily's most important lessons I learned was etiquette is something created so when we go places we don't know much about, we have a basic set of rules based on what makes others feel comfortable around us. Using common sense about what makes others comfortable you can most often not make big mistakes in society. Society, where would it be without parties and big weddings...
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